12 Lays Of Christmas

The night before the 12 Lays of Christmas starts (Dec. 13^th) leave this note for your husband, explaining how it will work (basically that you two are going to be making love every night for 12 days straight leading up to Christmas):

 

Along with the note, you can also leave a pocket advent calendar to count down the 12 Lays of Christmas. It’s really easy- you just get a pack of Dentyne gum (or any brand that has 12 pieces of gum in a pack) On the back of each square of gum, use a sharpie to label the numbers 1-12. That way, they can eat a piece of gum each day of the 12 Lays of Christmas. (If you want, you can also replace the Dentyne label with your own decorative label) Attach this note to the gum…

And remember what I say,
It must be done every day.
Just so you won’t forget-
Grab this pack and your set.
You can’t chew your piece of gum,
Until the deed is really done

Then, leave a small present (the idea for each present is in bold text at the end of the post) each day for your spouse to find along with the accompanying note, to remind them that “the deed must be done every day.”

Here are the notes I made to go along with each day's little gift.

(Pear scented body scrub)

LAY 1: December 14

Tonight calls for a partridge in a pear tree,

But that’s just not romantic, you see.

So how about some pear body scrub in a tub

Then you and me can rub a dub dub!!

(Chocolate turtles or Dove chocolate)

LAY 2: December 15

Tonight calls for two turtle doves

But birds are still not cutting it, love

So instead, how about the chocolate kind

It’s an aphrodisiac- I don’t think you’ll mind

(Hershey’s kisses)

LAY 3: December 16

Tonight calls for three French hens

(Here we go with the darn birds again)

So I’m replacing them with French kisses instead

But I’ll give more, not three like they said

(A whistle)

LAY 4: December 17

Tonight calls for four calling birds

But a call from you would be much preferred

So use this whistle to give me a call

When you’re ready for a little bedroom brawl

(5 gold rings from the dollar store with a piece of lingerie rolled inside each one)

LAY 5: December 18

Tonight calls for five golden rings

But my golden rings come with sexy things

So pick the outfit that you like best

And I will go get ready and dressed

(Rolo candies)

LAY 6: December 19

Tonight calls for six geese a-laying

But it’s not the geese that will be laying and playing

So just ROLO-ver, okie dokie?

It’s time for the horizontal hokey pokey!

(Bubble Bath)

LAY 7: December 20

Tonight calls for seven swans a-swimming

But I’m thinking you & me- with the lights a-dimming

Here’s some bubble bath for our private swim party

Meet me by the tub at bedtime- don’t be tardy!

(Milk duds)

LAY 8: December 21

Tonight calls for eight milking maids

But I was hoping that you’d consider a trade

Instead, how about just milk duds & me?

I promise I’m worth it- just wait and you’ll see!

(CD of Romantic songs)

LAY 9: December 22

Tonight calls for nine ladies dancing

But you just need me for some dancing, romancing

So let’s put on some slow songs and waltz ‘round the bed

Tonight it won’t be sugarplums dancing in your head

(Red Hots and Mountain Dew)

LAY 10: December 23

Tonight calls for ten lords a leaping

But you’re the only man I care about keeping

I know what’ll get you leaping, (you gotta admit)

We’re red hot- so let’s just DEW it!

(Party Blowers)

LAY 11: December 24

Tonight calls for eleven pipers piping

But, I confess, I have done some swiping

I stole their pipes to give to you

Just blow one when you’re ready for some- yabbadabbadoo!

(Paper Ticket)

LAY 12: December 25

Tonight calls for twelve drummers drumming

But you are the man who’s got me succumbing

So take this ticket for a private concert, you see,

Instead of a drum, you can bang on me!

The day after Christmas, leave your husband this note:

The 12 Lays of Christmas is over already,

But we don’t need an excuse to get hot and heavy!

So just let me know, whenever the mood hits…

And we’ll find our way back to toe-curling bliss!

You give me a thrill that nothing can beat.

So let’s keep staying tangled up in the sheets.

Thanks for being so charming and cavalier

You were my very favorite present this year!